Desperately Seeking Susan, or Diana, or Jodi

March 24, 2011 § 1 Comment

I compare finding an agent to being the ugly girl that no one wants to date.  You do everything within your power to shine yourself up.  You’re going to the gym, spending obscene amounts of time on skin care, makeup, nice clothes.  You want your personality to shine through, and so you have your lines ready.   You stand in front of the mirror and practice facial expressions, funny quips that you’ll share.  All you need is a hook, and he’ll be yours.  Then you’re pumping yourself up before the date, thinking “this is the one, we’re perfect for each other.”  Maybe you’ve trolled all the dating web sites, done all the research.  Maybe it’s just a blind date, a shot in the dark.  Regardless, you’ve done everything you can to make yourself look great, and then BAM!


He doesn’t call, he doesn’t write.  Your date was great, you thought you were really meant to be together.  So you wallow for a minute, and then you think, “Ok that one hurt a little, but there’s other fish in the sea.”  So you try again, and again, and again.  Until you become numb to the pain, and you want to give up.  He’s not out there, nobody loves me.  The Ben and Jerry’s come later, the self doubt creeping in.  Your girlfriends step up to the plate, they offer reassurance.  “You’ll find him, I promise, he’s out there, you just have to keep looking.”  So you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and take another good look in the mirror.  Maybe you do something dramatic like plastic surgery, or botox (shiver).  The point is you keep trying, you keep putting yourself out there, because someday, someone will love you.


§ One Response to Desperately Seeking Susan, or Diana, or Jodi

  • Julianne says:

    I’m glad you have a place to express what it feels like to go through this process. You are braver than brave in my book, amiga, because the very nature of sharing your baby with others makes you incredibly vulnerable. I’m not sure I could handle the criticism without taking it personally.

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